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Setting myself on fire

when I have said

one too many times the things that are screaming in my head .

When he does not say anything.

and I cannot draw back the blood spilled on the floor.

When my skin has worn paper thin from holding this in

and I am tired of playing pretend .

I want to try to hide the truth within

by setting fire to the whole damn thing.

kill the heart that betrays its own breath.

topple down the white washed walls

of his silence.

Shh, he says.

Waves a hand and my scrambled mind stops

in mid leap thru the flames.

What are you talking about?

Nothing my dear, I am just pretending to be breathing your name.

The pain is imaginary too.

Send me back to the silence.

He gets to sit back and watch my daily drama unfold.

I feed his smiles, his empty spaces,

maybe his jealousy

now and then

and I

am hand fed crumbs

I hunger for his world.

Today I'll set fire to myself and he will have nothing left of me.

Until, my silence becomes a roar in his mind and he calls out again

Where have you been?!

Right here,

In the same place you left me

In ashes

my dear.

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